


let us go then, you and i

by spendeonswithyou



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hugging, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, kind of fix-it, post 2x05, supportive Raphael, they just talk some stuff through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9543950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spendeonswithyou/pseuds/spendeonswithyou
Summary: Raphael pays Simon a visit, and that's when Simon realizes how bad the last few days have been for him. Fortunately, Raphael is there as a support.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably terrible, I wrote this in 30 minutes and didn't even proofread it. And English is my second language. So, yeah, feel free to point out any mistakes you'll find.  
> Title from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot.

Someone knocked at Simon’s window in the middle of the night.

The fact that he didn’t immediately jump and start panicking probably described pretty well how weird the few past months of his not-exactly-life have been. Of course it might have been a demon or anything else trying to kill him – a lot of things have been trying to kill him recently – but at this point he didn’t even really care.

That’s why he got up and raised the blinds. Out of all the things he could’ve expected, Raphael was not really the top choice (he probably belonged with “the things that wanted to kill him”, if Simon was being honest), and yet there he was, sitting on his windowsill. Staring at him with his usual death glare, precisely.

With a deep sight, Simon opened the window.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I got your message. I brought blood.” Raphael jumped into his room and started taking out packets of blood from the bag he carried.

“Oh, yeah, that was a few hours ago, so thanks for that. In the meantime, I had to eat a rat, and that wasn’t really cool. So, perfect timing. Thanks.” He could feel he was already starting to ramble, which was not a good thing, but he could never really control that.

“I couldn’t go out in the daylight,” Raphael reminded him.

“Yeah, of course you couldn’t. I’m surprised you’re here at all, since there’s a death order put on me, may I remind you.”

“Simon…”

“Look, why are you even doing this? Why are you here at all?” Simon stopped walking around the room and sat down on his bed. “Can’t you just stay with your clan and leave me alone? I shouldn’t have called and–”

“Simon, stop it,” Raphael cut him off. Simon buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath, even though it was unnecessary. His hands were shaking.

“Sorry to take it out on you, I had a rough day,” he managed to say eventually. “Jocelyn’s dead, I had to tell my mother I’m a vampire, nothing’s really okay. I just want to be alone.”

“There’s no death order.”

“What?” he looked up at the sudden change of topic.

“There’s no death order put on you,” Raphael repeated. “I called it off a long time ago.”

“Why? I betrayed you.”

“And you found Camille, at least indirectly, so I guess that’s justified, more or less. But you’re still part of the clan, okay? We don’t leave anyone behind.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know. I know I’m pathetic, I know you don’t want me in the clan, there’s no need to pretend that there’s a place for me there. So please, just go.” Simon knew he was becoming irrational, but right now he felt as if he was about to break down, and he didn’t want Raphael to witness that.

Instead of leaving, Raphael sat down next to him, putting a hand on his knee.

“Look, this is not pathetic. I know it’s tough, all of us went through this at one point. And that’s why you belong with us, Simon. The clan cares about you.” He swallowed. “ _I_ care about you, okay?”

Simon managed to nod, and then he couldn’t help himself and leaned into Raphael’s embrace. He knew he’d regret it later, but right now he just needed this. Needed to know someone was there.

Raphael tightened his arms around him, after a few seconds of shock. A moment later he relaxed, and started stroking Simon’s back in gentle motions.

“We’ll figure this out,” he assured him. “Do you want to go back to the hotel?”

“I… I guess it would be better if I moved back there,” Simon said, his head still against Raphael’s chest.

“I’m sure it would.”

“But my mom still wants you to come to that dinner, you know.”

“Guess it won’t be that bad,” he said, and then he leaned to press a soft kiss against Simon’s hair. “We’ll go now, yeah?”

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is likely going to be my last story here.  
> Some things happened recently that made me doubt my abilities, and long story short, I'm not sure if I should still be writing. I just feel like giving up on that and maybe that's better.  
> I know that sounds pathetic. Sorry.  
> You can still find me on [tumblr](https://spendeonswithyou.tumblr.com) and on [twitter](https://twitter.com/eonswithyou), if you want to talk or just rant about fictional characters.


End file.
